How to Stop People Pleasing If You Grew Up in a South Asian Family
This post explores why people pleasing can be so deeply ingrained if you grew up in a South Asian or collectivist family, where sacrifice, family expectations and keeping the peace can sometimes come before your own needs. We look at how to reconnect with what you actually want, understand the fears underneath people pleasing, build your self-worth without constantly feeling like you have to earn love, and start practising taking up space and voicing your needs. Most importantly, we look at how to do this safely, recognising that people pleasing can sometimes be a genuine survival strategy when there is trauma, abuse or an active threat.
Why you are the Family Fixer and What to do about it: Parentification in Brown Families
I’m going to talk about the childhood origins of being the family fixer, the cultural reasons for this dynamic being more likely and most importantly how to fix it. By the end of this episode you’ll see why the burden always falls to you, why you are always putting out fires and how to change so you are less exhausted, resentful and have better relationships.
I don’t believe in quick fixes, I think if it were that easy - you’re smart and capable enough to have done it by now so I’ll also go over some of the common obstacles you might face along the way and the reasons why this is actually really hard.
Can you have eldest daughter syndrome if you have older brothers?
So you’ve seen some content about eldest daughter syndrome and are relating hard to first born daughters who adopt traits of overachieving, caretaking, burnout and high levels of guilt in their relationships - but you aren’t the first born?
If you are struggling to find where you belong in the discourse and wondering why you also relate - welcome, I’ll go through a few reasons why you relate to eldest daughter syndrome despite not being an eldest daughter.